No, not even the best of the lot! I was shocked the first time this truth hit me. And it came in when I was going through the worst upheaval of my life. It was sickening to know what a sadist she turned out to be.
She coated her chirpy conversations with fine glaze. It was just the icing on the cake. Ignorant of the intentions that lurked beneath the cloak of this supposedly understanding friend, I shared my numerous joys and miniscule doses of unhappiness with her.
She chose to let me soak in my happiness alone but she kept track of me. She pitched in with her efforts to glean every detail of my unhappiness. She shared her happy milestones with me. Yes, milestones they were because otherwise, she didn't surface. It was her self-effacing way to show off. I was genuinely happy for her, as I did even for the faintest acquaintance.
It wasn't that simple. The glaze chipped away once, and I saw through it all. She repayed a gift with one of similar worth. She didn't have to. So, she was keeping track. Friends don't do that. It wore me down by its weight. Too heavy an emotion to describe! There is so much to read between the lines, which I guess only she would understand. I know she would be reading this. (I hope you get it, mi amiga! )
She has this uncanny knack of hitting at the most tender spot. Unfortunately for her, that's where my gut feeling arises. N i could see her smirking at what she believed was giving me searing pain. She reads this bit of my (s)crap-space in the virtual world and concocts her own impressions of what is on my mind. So I decided to take the bait and play my own game. She gets her refills of sadistic amusement and I, mine, whenever she texts me out of the blue.
It hurt to see that she was waiting all the years to see me lose. Lose, I did, a friend!
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